Nurjapmis is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless scorpion.

Nurjapmis created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurjapmis, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nurjapmis, it will try to impress you with trees.

Nurjapmis' most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Nurjapmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing gray coats and balancing seven silicon spheres on your head.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurjapmis.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.