Zimlamhit Vonkflanvad Nigortjonlatgepyattbap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing snake.

Zimlamhit Vonkflanvad Nigortjonlatgepyattbap created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zimlamhit Vonkflanvad Nigortjonlatgepyattbap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zimlamhit Vonkflanvad Nigortjonlatgepyattbap, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Zimlamhit Vonkflanvad Nigortjonlatgepyattbap's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Zimlamhit Vonkflanvad Nigortjonlatgepyattbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Always obey Zimlamhit Vonkflanvad Nigortjonlatgepyattbap's priests.

5. Never hurt seals.