Hapkarrakdabvinmillaghug is a god.

She takes the form of a large, selfish troll.

Hapkarrakdabvinmillaghug created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapkarrakdabvinmillaghug, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hapkarrakdabvinmillaghug, she will turn you into a duck.

Hapkarrakdabvinmillaghug's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Hapkarrakdabvinmillaghug's Holy Commandments

1. Hapkarrakdabvinmillaghug loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near birds while wearing gray shorts and balancing six tin spheres on your arms.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Put Hapkarrakdabvinmillaghug first in all things.