Ruttbugjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, irritating hamster.

Ruttbugjarn created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttbugjarn, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ruttbugjarn, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Ruttbugjarn's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Ruttbugjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum field theory.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help doves in need.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.