Gumgonneg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, calm squid.

Gumgonneg created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumgonneg, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumgonneg, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gumgonneg's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gumgonneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never think about solid mechanics.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Gumgonneg in the centre of the settlement.