Wadcussvoggil is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, stupid zebra.

Wadcussvoggil created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadcussvoggil, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wadcussvoggil, he will strike you with lightening.

Wadcussvoggil's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Wadcussvoggil's Holy Commandments

1. Put Wadcussvoggil first in all things.

2. Always obey Wadcussvoggil's priests.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never sit near whales.

5. Never mention doves.