Onttagcat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, witless hamster.

Onttagcat created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Onttagcat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Onttagcat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Onttagcat's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Onttagcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Hide from yellow snakes for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.