Fotbimpib is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, proud walrus.

Fotbimpib created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotbimpib, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fotbimpib, she will turn you into a tree.

Fotbimpib's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Fotbimpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Worship no other gods but Fotbimpib.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always help snakes.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.