Tettibaddab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, selfish raccoon.

Tettibaddab created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Tettibaddab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettibaddab, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tettibaddab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tettibaddab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Never skip in holy places.