Appstigpan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unfair dove.

Appstigpan created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appstigpan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Appstigpan, she will send minions to preach to you.

Appstigpan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Appstigpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not kill squirrels.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.