Stiphasnel is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, ill-tempered hippopotamus.

Stiphasnel created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiphasnel, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stiphasnel, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Stiphasnel's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Stiphasnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat turtles with great respect.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Monkeys are not to be trusted.