Talsidhom Fednurnul is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, deceitful hippopotamus.

Talsidhom Fednurnul created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talsidhom Fednurnul, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Talsidhom Fednurnul, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Talsidhom Fednurnul's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Talsidhom Fednurnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Retreat if six sharks approach from the south.

5. Never think about black holes.