Yikquagquill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful fly.

Yikquagquill created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikquagquill, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yikquagquill, he will turn you into a snail.

Yikquagquill's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Yikquagquill's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never chant near sharks.

3. Never feed aubergines to moths while wearing corsets.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Do not dye your hair red.