Futxenbest is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet yak.

Futxenbest created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Futxenbest, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Futxenbest, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Futxenbest's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Futxenbest's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Put Futxenbest first in all things.

5. Do not commit murder.