Himnellzig Farshavnel Donfunkam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic crow.

Himnellzig Farshavnel Donfunkam created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Himnellzig Farshavnel Donfunkam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Himnellzig Farshavnel Donfunkam, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Himnellzig Farshavnel Donfunkam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Himnellzig Farshavnel Donfunkam's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Himnellzig Farshavnel Donfunkam loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.