Tettinuttwot is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, ill-tempered scorpion.

Tettinuttwot created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettinuttwot, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tettinuttwot, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tettinuttwot's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tettinuttwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of cats.

2. Run away if four horses approach from the east.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism.

5. Never talk about snails.