Flanyattkap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, slow camel.

Flanyattkap created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanyattkap, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flanyattkap, she will turn you into a goat.

Flanyattkap's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Flanyattkap's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Flanyattkap.

2. Flanyattkap must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Flanyattkap on top of all buildings.

4. Do not take Flanyattkap's name in vain.

5. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.