Leghivgep is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, temperamental mink.

Leghivgep created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Leghivgep, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Leghivgep, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Leghivgep's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Leghivgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Leghivgep.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Do not drink alcohol.