Nelgiggun is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, temperamental mongoose.

Nelgiggun created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Nelgiggun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nelgiggun, it will destroy your home planet.

Nelgiggun's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Nelgiggun's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of pigs.

2. Nelgiggun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Worship no other gods but Nelgiggun.

4. You must never eat aubergines.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.