Mobflykamfemtam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, irritating goat.

Mobflykamfemtam created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobflykamfemtam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mobflykamfemtam, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mobflykamfemtam's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Mobflykamfemtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near gulls while wearing red ear rings and balancing six silver spheres on your hands.

2. Put Mobflykamfemtam first in all things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.