Tiphitgab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, merciful gnu.

Tiphitgab created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiphitgab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tiphitgab, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tiphitgab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tiphitgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Run away if seven otters approach from the north.