Zogbegwap is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, resourceful narwhal.

Zogbegwap created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogbegwap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zogbegwap, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Zogbegwap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Zogbegwap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. You must pray to Zogbegwap eight times a day.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Do not commit murder.