Bossbatfub is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered tortoise.

Bossbatfub created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bossbatfub, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bossbatfub, it will not care at all.

Bossbatfub's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bossbatfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat grapes.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Never wear orange scarves.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bossbatfub.