Xucboghiv Metgofbim Dinsigbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, kind turtle.

Xucboghiv Metgofbim Dinsigbonk created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucboghiv Metgofbim Dinsigbonk, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xucboghiv Metgofbim Dinsigbonk, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xucboghiv Metgofbim Dinsigbonk's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Xucboghiv Metgofbim Dinsigbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Never feed tomatoes to swans while wearing corsets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.