Nurtdodvabkomhamarn is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental fish.

Nurtdodvabkomhamarn created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtdodvabkomhamarn, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nurtdodvabkomhamarn, it will boil you in a big pot.

Nurtdodvabkomhamarn's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Nurtdodvabkomhamarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to eagles while wearing turquoise stockings.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nurtdodvabkomhamarn.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.