Govfet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered goose.

Govfet created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Govfet, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Govfet, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Govfet's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Govfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Govfet in the centre of the settlement.

3. Hide from green capybaras for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.