Basttikyat is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, cheerful monkey.

Basttikyat created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Basttikyat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Basttikyat, he will think nothing of it.

Basttikyat's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Basttikyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never paint your head red.