Janpognurfebcinnakjadgil is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, overgenerous squid.

Janpognurfebcinnakjadgil created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Janpognurfebcinnakjadgil, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Janpognurfebcinnakjadgil, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Janpognurfebcinnakjadgil's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Janpognurfebcinnakjadgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing violet trousers and balancing eight iron spheres on your arms.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Always wear red.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.