Natloopcenrawtipflankencem is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, wise hyena.

Natloopcenrawtipflankencem created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Natloopcenrawtipflankencem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Natloopcenrawtipflankencem, she will ignore you.

Natloopcenrawtipflankencem's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Natloopcenrawtipflankencem's Holy Commandments

1. Put Natloopcenrawtipflankencem first in all things.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Natloopcenrawtipflankencem on top of all buildings.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near porpoises while wearing purple ear rings and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your arms.