Camzimyar is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent scorpion.

Camzimyar created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Camzimyar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Camzimyar, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Camzimyar's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Camzimyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about gravity near sharks while wearing white scarves and balancing seven tin spheres on your arms.

3. You must pray to Camzimyar eight times a day.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Always pray immersed in water.