Nurlistjig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful slug.

Nurlistjig created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlistjig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlistjig, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nurlistjig's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nurlistjig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about dark energy near turtles while wearing red stockings and balancing seven silicon spheres on your legs.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.