Hatjopwon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, sage fly.

Hatjopwon created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatjopwon, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hatjopwon, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hatjopwon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hatjopwon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four badgers approach from the south.

2. Always help sick voles.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never feed limes to turtles while wearing kilts.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.