Largnartfud Govwip is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, tiresome slug.

Largnartfud Govwip created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largnartfud Govwip, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Largnartfud Govwip, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Largnartfud Govwip's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Largnartfud Govwip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Largnartfud Govwip in the centre of the settlement.

2. You must pray to Largnartfud Govwip three times a day.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never talk about dark matter near squirrels while wearing gray kilts and balancing nine gold spheres on your chest.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.