Flagkikgod is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, resourceful lizard.

Flagkikgod created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flagkikgod, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flagkikgod, he will torture you forever.

Flagkikgod's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flagkikgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near tapirs while wearing red jumpers and balancing seven tin spheres on your head.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Flagkikgod loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look after injured bats.

5. Do not eat bananas.