Vonfem is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-assured raven.

Vonfem created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonfem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonfem, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vonfem's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vonfem's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

3. Always look after injured doves.

4. Never wear brown coats.

5. Always treat horses with great respect.