Dithunced Padnurnad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unthinking hummingbird.

Dithunced Padnurnad created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dithunced Padnurnad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dithunced Padnurnad, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dithunced Padnurnad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Dithunced Padnurnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Put Dithunced Padnurnad first in all things.

5. Do not drink alcohol.