Fumsafbam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, fussy manatee.

Fumsafbam created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumsafbam, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fumsafbam, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fumsafbam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fumsafbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never bounce near porpoises.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Always obey Fumsafbam's priests.