Targstipnurt Gonrultof is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, merciful skunk.

Targstipnurt Gonrultof created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targstipnurt Gonrultof, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Targstipnurt Gonrultof, she will jump up and down on your head.

Targstipnurt Gonrultof's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Targstipnurt Gonrultof's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dolphins.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away from blue foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Do not take Targstipnurt Gonrultof's name in vain.