Tonkfarkop is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, strong hippopotamus.

Tonkfarkop created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfarkop, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tonkfarkop, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tonkfarkop's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tonkfarkop's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are not to be trusted.

2. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never mention doves.

4. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Tonkfarkop in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not make images of living things.