Bepjintettilarp is a god.

It takes the form of a large, cheerful toad.

Bepjintettilarp created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepjintettilarp, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bepjintettilarp, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bepjintettilarp's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bepjintettilarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bepjintettilarp.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the south.