Flapkin is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, annoying salamander.

Flapkin created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapkin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flapkin, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Flapkin's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Flapkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Always help sheep in need.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Run away if four geese approach from the west.