Flammilbif is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane crocodile.

Flammilbif created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flammilbif, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flammilbif, it will turn you into a puffin.

Flammilbif's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Flammilbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. You must pray to Flammilbif three times a day.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Feed all hungry tortoises.