Tamfutpidhapnutt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring bird.

Tamfutpidhapnutt created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamfutpidhapnutt, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tamfutpidhapnutt, she will ignore you.

Tamfutpidhapnutt's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tamfutpidhapnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Run away if three otters approach from the west.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.