Sigrat Fasrulont is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, proud elephant.

Sigrat Fasrulont created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigrat Fasrulont, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sigrat Fasrulont, he will turn you into a snail.

Sigrat Fasrulont's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Sigrat Fasrulont's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never paint your neck turquoise.

5. You must pray to Sigrat Fasrulont three times a day.