Gutbeststaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, proud mink.

Gutbeststaf created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gutbeststaf, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gutbeststaf, it will send minions to preach to you.

Gutbeststaf's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gutbeststaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt ants.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not kill goats.

4. Hide from white birds for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.