Yarltiktit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, stupid chinchilla.

Yarltiktit created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarltiktit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarltiktit, he will turn you into a rat.

Yarltiktit's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Yarltiktit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help sick sharks.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Feed all hungry dogs.

5. Always look after injured gulls.