Didcatbif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong centipede.

Didcatbif created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Didcatbif, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Didcatbif, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Didcatbif's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Didcatbif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Didcatbif on top of important buildings.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Worship no other gods but Didcatbif.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away if five dogs approach from the north.