Rankaptan Gamcidvig Armcamstikzaglop is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered snail.

Rankaptan Gamcidvig Armcamstikzaglop created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rankaptan Gamcidvig Armcamstikzaglop, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rankaptan Gamcidvig Armcamstikzaglop, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Rankaptan Gamcidvig Armcamstikzaglop's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Rankaptan Gamcidvig Armcamstikzaglop's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Always treat swans with great respect.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not kill monkeys.