Quartcepquartbom is a god.

It takes the form of a large, temperamental bee.

Quartcepquartbom created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartcepquartbom, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quartcepquartbom, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quartcepquartbom's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Quartcepquartbom's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three goats approach from the west.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Do not chop down trees.