Lingessvin is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, effective monkey.

Lingessvin created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Lingessvin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lingessvin, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lingessvin's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Lingessvin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Lingessvin on top of all buildings.

2. You must love Lingessvin.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.